The Abyss into Which I Have Fallen
by JukedSolid
Summary: A first person view of Ageha's feelings when he is confronted by Abyss during the events of chapters 105-109. Contains heavy spoilers for later chapters of Psyren.


The manga Psyren is licensed by Viz Media® and is written by Iwashiro Toshiaki. None of the involved characters were created or owned by me.

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"I love you! I love you more than anything in the universe! I love you more than any living thing on this planet!"

Amamiya Sakurako has me, Yoshina Ageha, by the shoulders and she is proclaiming her love for me as though it is her single minded purpose in life. Under any normal circumstances, I would be kissing this wonderful girl until she had trouble standing. Unfortunately, I'm not doing exactly what my whole body is telling me to because there is a very big problem with this entire situation. This woman standing in front of me is not _my _Amamiya and I am paralyzed. Of course, I could be thinking about the fact that I am still technically in a fight with this crazy fucker whose cowardly poison PSI abilities will kill Matsuri-sensei if I don't crack his skull open real soon. Somehow this fact becomes secondary though as this woman begins to threaten the careful barriers of respectability that I have with my relationship with Amamiya, and I just do not know what to do. I _always_ know what to do! Being indecisive is what I consider to be the traits of a complete candy-ass and that is _not_ me.

It's all the same. Her face with her insanely cute nose, eyes, and lips all belong to my Amamiya. That ridiculously soft hair that hangs straight just past her delicate shoulders still belongs to my Amamiya. Her skin is the only thing that has changed. It is deeply tanned giving her an alluringly exotic appearance in comparison to the normally fair skinned and modest woman I am used to seeing. There is a bullet wound on her left shoulder that isn't bleeding too badly but will be quite severe if left untreated. She has an absolutely delighted look on her face that is both supremely confident and, on a more unsettling level, devilishly predatory. What the _hell_ am I going to do?

I was listening as Matsuri-sensei explained how this woman is not, in fact, _my_ Amamiya (no surprises there thanks very much) but a separate personality she unconsciously developed to suppress all of her negative emotions and feelings. Matsuri-sensei called her Abyss. Abyss. The lonely vault buried deep within a lovely fragile girl that locked away all the pain so she could be the strong woman that everyone can depend on in the fight for survival. I can feel my heart breaking for her as I think of how she has had to go to that hell of the world ten years in the future ever since the beginning of high school and no one was there to help her. _I_ wasn't there to help her. It was her that got me smiling again when we were in primary school as children after mum died. It wasn't my families fault. Dad did all he could to be the best possible father he could be to us and sister became ridiculously overprotective. I have to smirk at that. She's probably done more damage to me than any Tavoo I've ever encountered after I show up just a few hours after curfew. Sheesh! Despite all that I never even bothered to seriously approach her when she became the supposed _Ice Queen_ of the school. Her parents had a bad marriage. Her mom basically abandoned her and her Dad was always with one of his mistresses. Damn assholes. _Damn them_ for betraying this beautiful little girl who was trapped in Nemesis Q's cycle of fight for survival in psyren! Fighting for her life while seeing numerous others slaughtered by the mindless Tavoo created by W.I.S.E. Her only reward upon reaching the end goal to live in the present day for a few weeks until the ruthless cycle began once more. Damn them all! …but I know that the one I'm most angry with is me. All the bad had already been locked away by the time I had noticed and sought out psyren myself after witnessing Amamiya's momentary slip of emotion to silently cry for my help.

After she notices my silence, Abyss begins to desperately scream at me,

"SAY SOMETHING! DON'T JERK ME AROUND! TELL ME ABOUT YOUR FEELING TOO!"

Matsuri-sensei tells Abyss to give Sakurako her body back. Abyss bitingly states that she is Sakurako now and then turns to me pleading,

"Hey…Yoshina, you understand me right…?"

I didn't protect her, and that's why this different side of Amamiya is breaking out while my Amamiya is weakened to try and escape the bad she has been burdened with. Never will I leave her again. Protecting her is the most important thing for me now. I find myself wanting to hold her and just squeeze all the pain away, but there is still the problem that this is only a part of Amamiya. A sad and lonely part that is telling me all of Amamiya's true desires because those are exactly what Abyss desires most as well…but it is still just a part. I want _all_ of Amamiya. That is why when I finally speak the words that escape my mouth are,

"I…I want the old Amamiya back…and that's all."

I couldn't even look her in the face as I said it for fear that any of the resolve I had built up would immediately break down upon seeing her face. Instead, Abyss frantically screams

"IF THAT'S HOW YOU FEEL, THEN YOU MIGHT AS WELL DIE!"

Before she can make good on her promise, however, Mr. I'm-a-pansy-ass-coward begins to attack with his poison gas and I end up shielding Amamiya from the attack with my body and the newly developed Melchsee Vortex. The bullet wound has obviously taken its toll on her because she collapses almost instantly. The fight doesn't take me too long but still it is a hindrance that I am itching to be done with. After it is all over, the eyes that open to gaze into my own truly belong to _my _Amamiya. A sigh of relief escapes my lips and I hold her close against my chest just to know that she is alive and her once again fair complexion is even more apparent due to her loss of blood. The looming conversation that we will soon be having is one that I am already beginning to contemplate. As I carry her small form cradled to my chest out of the ruined research facility I know without any shadow of a doubt,

"I'll always be there by your side to protect you."

Three days later, I find myself sitting next to Amamiya on her bed as she lay with her face unceremoniously shoved in her pillow. Probably to hide the blush that has been gracing her adorable cheeks every time she has seen me since the incident. That same blush is probably spreading across my face as well now that she has asked me if I remember what her other self told me at the research center. There's really only one thing I can do. Lie my ass off and hope that I can delay this conversation until I feel more prepared for it by telling her I don't remember. Unfortunately I'm a horrible liar and she turns her very cute red face to me with a hopeful look trying to confirm how truthful my statement is.

"R-really?"

"Yeah…well…I kinda remember…impulsively saying something to you too."

The startled look on her face tells me that my guess is spot on that she remembers exactly what I said when I promised to be her very own knight in shining armor. My thoughts begin wandering to how amazing Amamiya looks right now. A completely hot mess of frayed nerves and delicate beauty that I know is truly strong enough to brave the hell of psyren and back again. My hand is barely touching hers on the bed and I am beginning to lean towards her. I know with everything I am that I want all of Amamiya, and I want it for keeps. I can't hold it back. The irresistible pull that she has on me is finally winning out and I am growing closer to those beautiful lips fixed on the very surprised face of the girl I love. Just when I think she couldn't look any more incredible she proves me wrong all over again. Not long now. Just a little closer and…

_Crrreeeaakkk_

The sudden noise from the door alerts us to the presence of a few young and unwanted spectators at the door. Amamiya hastily places the tips of her fingers on my lips and has pushed me back to a respectable distance once again as we both fix our flustered gazes to the children. Kyle's mischievously innocent grin is donning his tanned features through a crack in the door where the other Elmore Wood kids gaze at us as well. Marie looks oddly determined about something while Frederica and Shao appear indifferent but nonetheless guilty. Even little Van has poked in his head to curiously examine our display.

"Ah, not good," Kyle exclaims upon being realized. I can feel a vein pop on my forehead signaling these punks are going to feel my wrath very, _very_ soon.

"YOU LITTLE BRATS!" The kids scamper off and I give chase with Amamiya close behind.

Damn. Just a little bit longer I guess, but that's just fine. I know what to do from here.


End file.
